Research Versus Revelation

My oldest son just texted to ask if I had any articles that compare home schooling to public schooling. Funny! Well, yes I just happen to be able to lay my hands on a few. He has married friends at college with a little one and they are "looking into" home schooling. It made me smile! I did the exact same thing for two years actually before I took the plunge. Now that I am in my 14th year of homeschooling I look back and think how utterly insane that was. I have met so many home schoolers over those years. I have mentored many and taught children of many and as I look back absolutely no one made the decision to home school because of the statistics. Everyone calls it something a little different, but I call it revelation. Some felt they were "called" to home school and everyone has their own semantics, but what it boils down to is no one I know home schools because it has proven statistically to be the best education for some kids. We home school because we feel a Divine influence calling us to do this for the particular children in our homes. Home schooling is just too hard to do it for the statistical benefits. Then there are the times when we are in crisis and we all feel like putting our children into school because we feel like utter failures and still that Divine Voice whispers just hang on it will all work out for the best. And sure enough as the difficulty passes and the test scores come in for the year come to find out the kids really are doing ok and we marvel that they did so well when we feel like we as home school moms did so poorly. Statistics can never show that! They can't show the love that grows as parents and children help each other and grow together through trials, work, learning, and loving. I would never tell anyone not to look at the research - it's really interesting, but never make the decision to home school based on that. It is something so much deeper, and I am constantly amazed at the younger parents who are coming to home schooling earlier and earlier some before the first baby is even born. I hope that as they do all that research they also listen to that Divine voice that calls us to this great work!

For the Love of Daisies

On January 22 my 97 year old grandmother passed away.  She was an amazing woman.  My grandpa passed away 17 years ago and she lived on her own until 4 months before her death.  She beat cancer twice once in the 1950's when almost no one beat cancer.  She worked hard and preserved through a difficult life.  We always jokingly said that we come from a line of "sturdy" women.  I love her so much and miss her every day!  Today, I was cleaning out one of the flower arrangements from her funeral.  We bought a beautiful spray of white roses, white lilies, blue delphinium and daisies.  After a week, I cleaned out the roses and some of the delphinium and this week I cleaned out the lilies and the rest of the delphinium, but the daisies are all still going strong.  They are so beautiful and bright and sturdy!  As I cleaned the flowers, I realized that my grandmother was a daisy - beautiful and sturdy.  She was strong and beautiful no matter the circumstances and while I may not be as beautiful as she was I too am a sturdy girl.  It took me a while to be grateful to be a "sturdy" girl, but once I started having, raising and schooling my children I was very grateful to be like my grandma.  I have seen a lot of women start homeschooling with beautiful plans and ideas, but they stopped after only a short time.  Muck like the roses and the lilies they browned and gave up quickly.  I also know many women who are daisies.  They homeschool in a bright and beautiful but not flashy way.  And most important they hang on for the long haul.  For a good portion of my life I wanted to be a rose, someone others thought was beautiful and elegant and delicate.  Now after 26 years of marriage, 4 kids and 12 years of homeschooling I am really happy to be a daisy.  Daisies have always been my favorite flowers and now I love them even more!  Here's to you grandma and all the daisies in my life!

Why I am a Mean Mommy!

It is interesting to me that so often when people find out that I homeschool one of the first things they say is that they couldn't spend all day with their children.  They hate for summer to come and can't wait for September when the kids go back to school.  That is so sad to me.  I waited quite a while for three of my four children and I was so grateful for each of them, yet that wasn't really enough for me.  I really wanted to enjoy being with my children.  I wanted to like them not just love them.  I was raised by old-fashioned parents who believed in disciplining so that their children would never be offensive to other people and so they would enjoy us.  Today, they honestly enjoy being with all of us.  We sit around a table eating and laughing until our sides hurt and we all love it.  That is where the mean mommy comes in.  So many people think I am a mean mom because I discipline my children.  I set clear limits well inside the bounds of my own sanity and then I consistently enforce the limits.  I teach table manners and require my kids to use them.  I don't let my kids interrupt conversations adult or otherwise and we practice conversation skills at the dinner table.  My children are interesting, thoughtful people who actually like to be with their parents.  They will come and hang out on our bed and talk for hours.  They hang around the dinner table and talk about things going on in their lives and in the world.  Other people enjoy my children and often comment about how nice they are.  When did it become more important to be friends with our kids, than it is to be their parents?   When did our culture decide that if you discipline that you are mean, impatient and unkind?  It seems to me the truly unkind thing is not to teach them.  The happiest children I know come from homes where mom and dad are on the same page and discipline consistently.  So here's to mean moms (and dads) everywhere!  I hope you enjoy your children even more in the New Year!

Homeschoolers Knew it all Along!

I saw this article today on Facebook and really enjoyed it.  While I often think that people are making a huge stretch to constantly think that what works in a small Scandinavian country will work in a big and diverse one, I did agree with this teacher.  Breaks are really good for both parent and child and moving children to learning independence is vital in their journey to adulthood.  As a homeschool mom none of this is new to me.  Teaching and learning are a marathon not a sprint and working against children and not with them will never help them master anything and causes frustration for both parent and child.

http://www.edweek.org/tm/articles/2013/11/26/ctq_walker.html?tkn=UZNF8EtKeWip7I2g5o6YlJQGE7BFNCYJMV8m&cmp=ENL-TU-NEWS1

Clean Up Days

I always take Thanksgiving week off!  I need a couple of catch up days going into the holiday season so I take the days before Thanksgiving and do some deep cleaning.  It seems to be an almost given that home schooling homes are not messy per se, but definitely not immaculate.  I think this was the hardest thing for me as I started home schooling.  When my oldest children were in school, I would send them off to school on Monday morning and clean all day.  Then I would sit down with a cold drink, some handwork and a TV show before they got home just to enjoy the clean house.  I have to say I really miss that!  The boys and I keep the house functioning, but the mess builds up as deep cleaning goes undone.  So today, I started in Joshua's room, he's the youngest and 11 and a pack rat!  Are you getting a picture?  I probably should have taken a picture.  I have company coming for Thanksgiving and some of their children are sleeping in there so we had to deep clean.  AAGGGHH!  Joshua and I spent 6 hours in there cleaning and dusting and getting rid of some of the accumulated trash - I mean treasures!  We took a big black trash bag full out of his room and it looks amazing now.  It won't last long though as his imagination starts to work to fill the space we just created, but it sure feels good today to have his room REALLY clean for a couple of hours.  Maybe, I should go in there with a cold drink, some handwork and a movie! :)

Change is Hard

I have been home schooling for 12 years.  Things change every year and you would think that I would be used to that by now.  That small changes wouldn't throw me for a loop anymore.  Yesterday Joshua, my youngest, looked over at the table where Matthew (#3) used to work and wanted to know if he could move over there.  Matthew has been working in the dining room for over a year now because it is quieter down there and he can spread out.  So yesterday, Joshua moved to the other table and is no longer sitting beside me everyday for school.  He has sat beside me everyday for that last 7 years!  It is such a little thing so why have I been near to tears for two days.  Because he is growing up!  Because I only have one more year with Matthew and he too will be off to college.  Where have all the years gone?  When I had four children under 12 and was learning to homeschool, I thought this day would never come and if it did I would have a party.  Now, as my children grow up and continue their lives mostly outside of my home I find myself teary instead of happy, melancholy instead of exhilarated.  These last 12 years have been such a gift from a loving Father that I have not the words to thank Him.  I thought I was doing this great service for my children when in fact it has been so much joy for me.  I know they must grow up.  It is the way of things, but I am grateful for endless days together.  I am grateful for meals and books shared for loving memories and all the blessings that have filled my home all because I chose to bring my children home and to enjoy them to the very fullest every single day.

Park Day

Yesterday was park day!  It was so nice to get out in the sunshine and forget for an hour.  Forget about the messy house (after five days of school the house looks like a tornado blew through -oh my!), the grading still to be done and the million other things on my very long list.  It was nice to visit with amazing women who also have a messy house, but who love their kids and are doing their best.  I love watching kids playing and running around and organizing games amongst themselves.  I have been home schooling for 12 years and my youngest is the only one who regularly goes to park day anymore.  I am by far the oldest mom there and yet even when I go thinking that I will try to be a support and a help to the other mothers I find myself getting back in the car with a smile on my face.  I've laughed and talked and been lifted and I just feel better.  So here is a plea to all home school moms everywhere.  Get out and join with other like minded moms.  They need you and you need them.  Park days are wonderful and today I am grateful for the amazing women I am privileged to know!