The Perfect House

Housekeeping is always an issue when you homeschool.  I have seen this going around the internet and it made me smile so I thought I would put some thoughts down about the more mundane but essential part of life - keeping the house clean and functioning.  http://thestressedmom.com/2012/03/10-habits-for-a-well-run-home/  Now, lest anyone accuse me of being a messy homemaker I want to nip that in the bud.  I love a clean house and I mean love it, but one of the obvious negatives to having all your children home all day is that it is almost impossible to keep your house completely clean for longer than 10 minutes.  The thing I learned about myself a very long time ago was that I could be a good mom or have a clean house, but I couldn’t do both.  If the house was clean I was constantly yelling at my kids to not make a mess and I didn't want them to get stuff out (this was all before I started homeschooling).  One day I had an epiphany and I made a conscious choice that I would rather be a good mom than have a perfectly clean house.  And yes I have read the Fly Lady and many many more in my quest for a clean house.  After fighting this fight for 22 years now I have learned a few things about myself, about the process and about the value of a clean home and the relationships involved therein.  First, I learned I didn't like myself when I was yelling at my kids to keep things neat.  I also learned that I need quite a bit of sleep to be a sane person so staying up until 1am cleaning house was simply not an option.  So something had to give and the answer for me was the house.  It doesn't have feelings and really my family didn't care as much as I did.  So on the far side of 22 years of parenting and 12 years of homeschooling I am here to say that a perfect house doesn't matter.  Yes, we all need systems to keep food on the table, dishes clean, clothes on our children and the dog hair vacuumed off the floor.  However, I don't think that a perfect house is worth contention and hurt feelings nor keeping children from feeling that we actually like having them in our homes.  Now I am sure there are many people who can do both, but I don’t happen to be one of them.  Second, I learned how little children especially care about the house.  I also learned that family work is the key to keeping the house running.  I am going to write a separate post about this one.  I learned that good relationships are built when you work with children and not against them.  I love that my big kids love to come home and what they want is yummy food not a pristine house. They also want back rubs and to sit on my bed at night and talk about what we are reading or doing.  I am so glad that I let the clean house go and spent the time with my children talking, reading, eating, working and cuddling not worrying about a perfect house!